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It was nights like this when I’d write. Bloodshot eyes, whiskey on my breath, and a joint in the hand to help me relax. I’m also typing this with my right hand. A few mistakes but well worth the few puffs I get in before the fire dies out. It’s 3:51 in the mornin’. I miss him like the heavens miss a fallen angel. You feel bad for it up until a certain point. The cats are fed and the dog is filled with poo. Can’t sleep, what am I to do? I made a mistake and prepared for the best, but in my own interest. This joint is working its voodoo. I’m tired now. Goodnight. Ashes, ashes, we all fall down.
You are amazingly beautiful inside and out.
You are the perfect man women dream about.
Your charming good looks and welcoming smile
Opened the door of my heart and stayed awhile.
Your charisma and attention to detail make you one of a kind.
A modern man with old fashion taste make you purely divine.
A special rare one of a kind gem, they don’t make anymore.
Any woman who has lost you, didn’t know what she had in store.
Pardon my excuses, results of damage, post abuses.
I spent my last dime chasing that fast high.
My conscience, a goody two shoes.
Constant battle, bad temper, short fuse.
There’s more than what meets the eye.
Years of issue wrapped up nice.
Closed eyes grant instant escape.
Temporary fix, short getaway.
Daily I’m finding ways to challenge myself for more. When I start feeling comfortable with the way things are going I feel the need to create chaos. Why does life always feel like a race? Constantly we strive for perfection because the world says perfection is happiness. You need a good paying job to make more money so you can live in a huge mansion and drive a luxury car. That’s what life is about and that’s what’s going to make us happy. Right? We are flawed beings and that’s what makes us human. This never ending race for the “superficial happy life” is wearing me out. As I become more self-aware and honest with myself I am noticing that this concept of time is a limiting belief. We get so caught up in the future and what we want in the long run that we miss the present. I’m learning to live in the now and enjoy each day. Growing up in a very religious household played a big part on my journey to greatness. As a Christian I was taught that how we lived on earth determined whether we go to heaven or hell when we die. Knowing that my eternal fate depended upon the way I lived, I kept my focus on doing everything right so I would go to heaven. I was living my life in fear and not really living because I needed to be this perfect Christian. Now I know that isn’t the case. God wants us to live in the present and focus on today. He isn’t this disciplinarian who only sees black and white. How I live my life now will shape my future. This struggle for greatness is nothing more than an illusion that distracts us from the present. We need to get comfortable with being comfortable. I hope this message leaves you well and that you all get what you want out of life.
I hated it when Bobby would say that. It was a lousy way of saying “Time to go”. Perhaps he was right though. “I’ll have another.” My third gin gimlet tonight. That minty freshness kissed with a hint of lime dancing smoothly down my palate. The saugvignon was far too light to continue drinking the entire night. I had spent four hours in my home away from home and now I was forced to go to my real one. I tried AA and I was good for about two and a half months, then my interests slowly declined. Those sober punks. All you needed was a little self-discipline. Instead of a bottle a day I had a glass. “Not so bad,” I thought. “I can do this.” Well I couldn’t.
Heart racing eyes gracing, presently.
You and me all we need, memories.
Love will save us.
Chaos happening sky falling, sickening.
Together we remain, happily.
Love will save us.
Captivating solace a turn in disbelief.
Happy, one of a kind moments. Rare and very brief.
Humble pursuit of happiness contrary to what the world thinks.
Horrifying realities, permanently deep.