Can’t Sleep…

*  * *

It was nights like this when I’d write. Bloodshot eyes, whiskey on my breath, and a joint in the hand to help me relax. I’m also typing this with my right hand. A few mistakes but well worth the few puffs I get in before the fire dies out. It’s 3:51 in the mornin’. I miss him like the heavens miss a fallen angel. You feel bad for it up until a certain point. The cats are fed and the dog is filled with poo. Can’t sleep, what am I to do? I made a mistake and prepared for the best, but in my own interest. This joint is working its voodoo. I’m tired now. Goodnight. Ashes, ashes, we all fall down.

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it’s a lot though…

the-legend-of-korra

I spent my time for a minute
Trying to figure out ways to find myself up in this.
Sitting here surprised, amazed, up and did it.
Shifted my day to day scheduled more of my attention.
Worrying about the wrong things won’t get you closer to your vision.
Took a back seat, blurred lines, bright beams.
Mind stuck in the same place; not everything is what it seems.
Listened to your lies, made a mockery of me.
Going to forget it, been through worse made better.
When the going gets too tough, then too tough is what I’m getting.
Inspired ambition, not the best but still pushing.
Zoned out but still listening, thousand words paint a picture.
Can’t even understand it.
At birth already planned it.
Put myself out to be judged,
my name out to be slandered.
But.
Wait a minute, hold up.
Let me think, take a second, roll up.
And oh oh oh oh, it’s the fact that you know.
When it’s already yours.
Can’t believe that I’m sold, it’s a lot though.

Why I Oughta!!

….slap the s*** out of you.

People will push you, if you let them.

Disregard you, with intention.

Get upset at you, if you address them.

Then question what went wrong when it was them all along…..

Birthday Wishes

Wow, still trying to process that today is my birthday.. (low key freak out session going on in my head right now, mashed together with feelings of joy, unbelief and GRATITUDE!)

*cues Drake & Soulja Boy – “We Made It” in the background while proceeding to nae nae*

Okay,  now before l thank all of you lovely people, first, let me take a selfie.

image1

(Ahem) Now that we’ve got that taken care of. . .

I would like to thank  everyone for sending me best regards, (even if you haven’t yet..j/k) whether it be a phone call, text message, Facebook post, email, or birthday card, I really do appreciate it. I feel like I’ve won the Science Fair or an Oscar and failed to prepare a speech. (Not implying in any way that I assumed I should be dead by now, but in the world we live in today.. you never know.)

Uhh, yeah.. back to non-morbid matters…

When people ask me what I want for my birthday or how I’d like to celebrate it, I find that as I get older (and yes my anti-aging queens, we all do) my list gets smaller and smaller. I mean I can only wear so many bundles of Brazilian body wave at one time,  and by the way thanks for the card filled with money Mom and Dad. Will you guys be able to send checks six months from now, if I don’t renew my lease?!

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All jokes aside, I have been blessed with more than I could ever imagine. I may not have won uh… (we’ll just use Oscar for consistency purposes) an Oscar but being able to see another year feels pretty darn good dagnabbit!!

With age comes wisdom and I believe that is the greatest gift one can ever receive, well besides Jesus Christ. (this isn’t up for debate and if you don’t know him you are missing out!) And the church said “Amen”.

*Woosah*

I told myself I wasn’t going to preach today.

Nevertheless, I am so honored to be alive another year and can’t wait to see what the future has in store for me. Thanks again for the Birthday wishes and God bless.

#theManupstairsisnotdonewithmeyet #dontbelievemejustwatch #turntbecauseitsmybirthday #thatswhyilovehimlikeido #dontyoujustlovehashtags #crazycapricorn #brainwashedbeauty

Giants

When I think about this year and what lies ahead, it makes me a little nervous. I do believe that positive things will happen for me and that no matter what, in the end everything will be okay. It gets hard not to doubt about what the future may bring when nothing is promised. Setbacks and people will always steer you off course, but you have to remain diligent despite adversity. In fact it’s your greatest weapon, your only weapon. When the going gets tough, the tough get going, it’s human nature. Even if it’s one step at a time, big or small, keep moving. Beat the giant, whatever or whoever it is, that is in the way of your destiny.

      -You are wonderful.

   -You are beautiful.

-You are awesome.

   -You are a fighter.

     -You deserve the best.

You…

You are amazingly beautiful inside and out.

You are the perfect man women dream about.

Your charming good looks and welcoming smile

Opened the door of my heart and stayed awhile.

Your charisma and attention to detail make you one of a kind.

A modern man with old fashion taste make you purely divine.

A special rare one of a kind gem, they don’t make anymore.

Any woman who has lost you, didn’t know what she had in store.