It Could Always be worse

Today I really don’t feel like writing but I know it’s the only outlet I have right now. I’m a bit emotional today as I write this post, I feel anxious. Most of my life I battled with severe depression and several years ago I was treated for it. I’m a glass half full kind of person but there are times my optimism deserts me. Growing up I was raised to see the world as being black and white, no in between, no gray areas. As I challenged my superiors with questions of why this and why that, I saw myself disagreeing with many things I was told. There are no right or wrong choices in life, there are just choices. Whatever reasoning we use to make those choices are at our own discretion. I’m afraid of commitment with ANYTHING, but when I do commit and I don’t see the rewards, my frustration builds. I put my heart and soul into people because that’s how I am, but it could always be worse.

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19 comments

  1. LoveandFlats · September 30, 2014

    It could definitely always be worse. At least you have a decent outlook on everything < 3

  2. jocripps · September 30, 2014

    Be kind to yourself and acknowledge yourself for writing today when you didn’t feel like it, sometimes just following through on one small thing can give us something to be proud of and you never know who you might inspire along the way. Thanks for writing, you have inspired me on my 2nd day as a blog owner 🙂

  3. Priceless Joy · September 30, 2014

    Yes, it can always get worse. We (those of us with depression issues) just be grateful they are not. And the more gratitude we can fill into our baskets, the less room there is for the depressive thoughts. Sometimes, advice is easier to give than to receive (speaking for myself). I truly hope your basket is filled with happiness soon. Thank you for sharing with us with through this post. This post touched me deeply.

    • laurenudoh · September 30, 2014

      Thanks PJ I’m going to work on some gratitude this week.

  4. tantoverde · September 30, 2014

    Can I tell you a basic art theory? In every picture shadows are 10% and lights are… 10%. All the rest are highlights. Words is too complicated to be black and white, and people are very very very complicated. And disappointing, mean and so on. But many are beautiful, amazing and funny. You should just select in which people to put heart and soul 🙂

    • laurenudoh · September 30, 2014

      Thanks T. I have been more selective recently with people in my circle.

  5. Marije Bijlsma · September 30, 2014

    I did not feel like writing either today. It´s good to write I think, lets some of the frustration out. All the best to you!

    • laurenudoh · September 30, 2014

      Thanks Marije I appreciate it same to you.

  6. sandiyee160 · September 30, 2014

    Oh Sweetheart, Kudos to you for writing and finishing your thought, especially because you didn’t want to. You are not alone, there are millions of us who struggle with depression everyday.

    Please come by for a visit when you get a chance. I would love to hear from you. In solidarity we can overcome. ~Sandi at Managing Dedression blog

    http://sandiyee.wordpress.com/

  7. Carter Vail · October 1, 2014

    Thank you for sharing! You have a very natural flow to your writing and I enjoy reading your heartfelt and honest blog! Wishing you the best, hang in there!

  8. Burgess Taylor · October 1, 2014

    Depression and anxiety run in my family so I can understand where you’re coming from since pretty much all of us (me, my daughter, son, mother, brother, and my grandparents) have it. I find writing therapeutic. I hope that posting even when you didn’t feel like it/want to. Beating the struggle one small step (or word) at a time. High Five!

    • laurenudoh · October 1, 2014

      Thanks B. I find that writing has been my preferred medicine and most effective. All the best to you as well.

  9. Sean J · October 1, 2014

    Depression and anxiety are difficult, not only to deal with but sometimes even to admit they’re a problem. Be proud of yourself for reflecting and caring about how you feel, and finding something you can do to help yourself feel better. Perhaps the fact things CAN be different, for better *or* worse will continue prompting you to speak up and out for yourself, and to reach out to others, like us, so we can talk together. None of us is alone in this world. Thank you for sharing your post!

    • laurenudoh · October 1, 2014

      Sean you are absolutely right, thanks for the kind words.

  10. Pingback: Commenting with Confidence | Cautious Realism

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